How Can I Trust You?
by 5t4c3y
Summary: Full summary inside. If you like something a bit different full of Drama, romance and Angst, then I think you'll enjoy this fic. Please R
1. Introduction

**A/N: Alright, I don't know what's possessed me to write yet another fic, but this idea isn't leaving me, and I don't really think that there's another story like this. It's a bit out there. So I hope you enjoy. Please R&R. Thanks :o) **

**Summary: Lindsay Monroe lived in New York until she was 18 years old, but the night of her 18th birthday she was raped and left for dead. Once making a full recovery, Lindsay came to learn that she was pregnant. Not wanting to give up the baby, or raise him in the city, Lindsay and her family moved to Montana to start afresh. Now 12 years later, Lindsay and her son Kyle are on their way back to New York. Wanting to face her demons, Lindsay takes a job not to far from where the crime took place, as a CSI. She tries to move past the issue, and begins to date co-worker Danny Messer, but Danny might not be everything Lindsay is looking for. **

**A/N 2: Just to let you know this will be a D/L fic. All my D/L fics end happy, and this one won't be any different. **

**Rating: T **

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**_How can I trust you? _**

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**_By 5t4c3y _**

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_Chapter one: I dream the same dream every night _

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An eerie orange glow from the street lights outside filtered the room, casting peculiar shaped shadows in every corner. The room was in silence, apart from the moans of Lindsay Monroe. She was having the same dream again. The dream where she relived everything that had happened to her 12 years ago. She could hear the laughter as though it was really happening. She could feel him on her as though he was really there, but what made this even more of a hell, was that she couldn't see them. She never could. There was always more than one person there. 2 people…maybe even 3. One was causing her all this pain while the other two did nothing but laugh.

_"Please stop!" cried Lindsay_ _"Please!"_

_Nothing but the sound of laughter could be heard. Her screams would fade off into the night. No one could hear her, and she felt totally helpless. _

Lindsay shot straight up in bed, panting and sweating. Her honey curls stuck to the side of her face, making her feel that she had just come out of the shower. Looking around herself, Lindsay was happy to see that she was in her own room. She continued to look around, but gasped with fright when she saw her son, Kyle standing at the doorway.

"Are you ok Mom?" he asked sweetly, coming over and sitting on the bed with her.

"Yeah I'm fine baby." Said Lindsay, ruffling his hair "Just a bad dream."

Kyle sighed with relief and pulled his Mom in for a hug. He knew that she had the same dream almost every night. He could hear her thrashing around and crying, a word or two escaping from her lips. But he never asked her what her dream was about. If it was bad enough to make her cry, he wouldn't want her to relive it once more for his benefit only. Lindsay returned her son's hug, and after a few minutes pulled away.

"Come on." She said "Back to bed." 

Nodding, and giving her a kiss on the cheek, Kyle made his way back to his room. Watching him go, Lindsay sighed. If only she knew who his father was. Kyle had never been told what had happened. Lindsay never told him, because she feared that he would think he was an accident. But he was very mature for his age. Even just turning twelve Lindsay felt that Kyle looked after her most of the time. She loved her little guy, and even if he wasn't planned, he was the best mistake that ever happened to her.

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The next day at work, Lindsay tried to act normal. She had been working at the New York Crime Lab for about 6 months now, and she was loving it. She didn't want her past to get in the way. She also loved her co-workers, one a little more than some though. Danny Messer. At the beginning their relationship was rocky, but they soon developed a good friendship. A couple of weeks ago Danny asked Lindsay out on a date. A date that she accepted. The had a great time and things began to become more romantic between them. Although Lindsay trusted Danny with her life, she was still too frightened to tell him about that night on her 18th birthday. He knew she had a son, and he loved him as if he was his own. Something a lot of men wouldn't do.

Standing by the coffee machine, Lindsay stood waiting for the sludge to brew. She hardly heard Danny enter over the sound of the machine, and was startled when his hands went over her eyes. Darkness. She hated that.

"Guess who." Said Danny with a smile.

Lindsay quickly pulled his hand away from her eyes in a panic. She turned around, and was thankful to see Danny.

"Please don't do that." She said "Please don't ever cover my eyes like that. Please." 

He voice was cracking and Danny could see that she was about to cry. He was alarmed, and had no idea that covering her eyes would make her freak out.

"I'm sorry Lind's." he said pulling her in for a hug "I didn't mean to scare ya."

Lindsay just clung onto him for dear life as she began to calm down. She hated always being afraid, but she couldn't tell him, at least not yet.

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**A/N: I know short and a bit boring, but this story will get better. I promise. Please R&R and tell me what you think, and if anyone is interested in being a beta for this story, just let me know. Thanks :o) **


	2. Telling Danny

**A/N: Thanks guys for all the great reviews, and a special thanks to Lyss for the beta. You rock:o)**

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_**2. Telling Danny**_

A couple of weeks had passed since Lindsay's dilemma in the break room, and things were back to normal. Well as normal as normal could be for her. She had had the day off, and knew that Danny was coming over after his shift had finished. Kyle was staying with a friend that night so it would only be the two of them. Things had been going slow in their relationship. They hadn't slept with each other yet, but neither were rushing the subject along.

Lindsay had spent most of the afternoon in the kitchen cooking a lovely meal. She was just about finishing when the door knocked and in walked Danny.

"Hey Montana." He said, shrugging off his jacket and hanging it up "Mmm. Something smells good."

He walked into the kitchen where he saw her serving two plates of food. She smiled when she saw him, and soon the two were sitting down to dinner.

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They had finished eating a while ago, and were sitting on the couch watching a movie. Lindsay had her head on Danny's shoulder, and Danny had his arm draped over the back of the couch.

"So where's Kyle tonight then?" he asked, breaking their comfortable silence

"Staying at a friends house." Answered Lindsay.

She knew that Danny wanted to know more about Kyle's past, and who his father was. Lindsay felt that it was time to tell Danny the truth.

"Danny." She said, sitting up and turning off the TV "There's something I want to tell you about Kyle."

"Okay…Shoot."

He looked concerned, worrying in case there was something wrong with him.

"I need to tell you how I got pregnant…I know you probably don't want to hear about something like this but it's important."

"Lind's, don't worry." He said softly "You can trust me."

She took a deep breath and began to tell her story.

"I used to live in New York when I was younger. It was on my 18th birthday when it happened. I had just broke up with my boyfriend a couple of days before because he was pushing me for sex, and I wasn't ready. My friends decided that they would take me out, and I actually had a really good time. After going dancing I decided to head home. I was late so I was going to cut through Central Park. I was nearly home when I started to feel like I was being followed. I started to speed up when someone grabbed me from behind and blindfolded me."

"That's what was wrong with you the other week there wasn't it? You were reliving it."

Lindsay nodded as tears began to fall.

"I tried to scream but they gagged me and tied me up. There must have been about three of them. Soon I was on the ground and I could feel someone on top of me. There was mumbling and then laughter. I felt my jeans being taken down and then the next thing I knew was…well you know."

Danny was shocked. His girlfriend had been raped and because of it fell pregnant. Lindsay was still crying.

"I heard two of them walk away, and pretty soon one of them began to kick me. I was left for dead. Once I found out I was pregnant, my family and I moved to Montana. I wanted to keep the baby because even though I didn't know who the father was, Kyle was still apart of me."

"Were the people who did this to you caught?" asked Danny, very upset for Lindsay

"No." she answered "I didn't report it, and I begged my Mom and Dad not to. They're still out there somewhere."

Danny was in shock. He didn't know what to say. Not only had she been raped, but she had an audience. Seeing that she was still crying, Danny pulled her in for a hug. She looked up at him, her eyes glistening.

"You're not mad?" she croaked

"Mad!?" said Danny "Why would I be mad?"

"For not telling you." She said

"Lindsay I don't expect you to tell me every little thing. Okay"

Instead of answering him she kissed him.

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After a while, things began to heat up between the two. Danny was ready for removing Lindsay's shirt when she pulled back.

"You're not ready are you?" asked Danny.

"No, it's not that, it's just…I was a virgin when I was raped, and I've not been with anyone since so…you'd be my first."

"That's fine."

"Really?" Lindsay asked, a little relieved

"Yeah."

Lindsay smiled. They both got up from the couch and headed to the bedroom where their problems would start.

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**A/N: So what did you think? Please R&R. Thanks :o)**


	3. I Need To Know

A/N: Really sorry for the delay in the updates

**A/N: Really sorry for the delay in the updates. I have been super busy. Lyss, is it still ok for you to beta this fic. If it is could you e-mail me again, I've lost you e-mail addy. Sorry. Lol. :o)**

xCSI:NYx

A couple of weeks after Danny and Lindsay had taken their relationship to the next level, Lindsay decided that she wanted to find out who Kyle's father was. She had spent so long in the dark always wondering. Now she would be able to know. She would be able to know who hurt her, but who had also given her the best gift ever.

It was a stormy night that Lindsay had talked to Danny about the idea. They sat together on the couch, talking quietly knowing Kyle was just upstairs watching TV.

"Are you sure you want to know Montana?" asked Danny, not totally convinced about the idea "I mean you may find it easier not knowing who his father is."

"I know Danny, but I can't go on not knowing anymore. Kyle can't go on not knowing. I love him too much to not try and do something about it."

Danny sighed and looked at his feet. Their was no talking her out of the idea.

"Adam said that he would take some of Kyle's DNA and search through the data base to see if there's a match." Lindsay carried on "And if there is, then for the first time ever I'm going to come face to face with this guy."

Danny was silent for a minute, her finally looked back up at Lindsay and sighed again.

"I'm not totally convinced Lindsay, but I think it's best to tell Kyle before you do anything… At least see if he really wants to know."

"Already Done"

**xCSI:NYx**

A few days later, Adam had taken a DNA sample from Kyle, who was desperate to find out who his Dad was. After that was done, Danny volunteered to take the boy back to school, and while he did so, Lindsay waited anxiously in the break room with Stella.

Lindsay paced back and forth, chewing on her thumb nail. Stella just sat and watched her.

"Lindsay." Stella said, gaining her friends attention "Don't worry. You may not even get results. Just calm down."

Lindsay let out a breath she didn't know that she was holding in.

"You're right Stell." Said Lindsay, taking a seat next to the tall slender woman "I…I just can't believe that I could be so close to knowing."

Stella just nodded. She could hardly believe her friend when she heard the story she had to tell. Soon he gaze changed direction, when she saw Adam approach the break room with a piece of paper in hand. Lindsay turned to look, and soon the worry was back. There was results.

**xCSI:NYx**

Adam entered the Break room a little nervously. Lindsay got up right away and practically ran towards him. He could see the worry in her eyes, and felt horrible about having to do this.

"Lindsay." He began "I…I really don't think you want to see this."

"Why?" asked Lindsay "was there no match?"

"…No." said Adam "There was a match… but I don't think you should read these."

"Adam. I don't care. Just give me the paper." Said Lindsay sternly, holding out her hand.

Adam reluctantly handed over the paper, and was trying so hard not to cry when he saw Lindsay's face fall even more.

"Oh my gosh." She whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks "Oh My Gosh!"

Stella took the paper off of Lindsay and looked at the results. He expression too soon fell. She dropped the paper in shock and caught Lindsay who was about to fall.

"I'm so sorry Lindsay." Adam said to the woman who was now in hysterics "I'm…I'm so sorry."

**xCSI:NYx**

When Danny arrived back at the lab after dropping Kyle off, he was alarmed to see Lindsay, Flack, Stella and Mac along with some more police officers standing outside the break room. He quickened his pace and finally reached the group alarmed.

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking at Lindsay who was still crying "Did you find out who the father is?"

All Lindsay did was ignore him. Flack walked closer to Danny and pulled out a set of handcuffs.

"Danny Messer." He said with pain and disbelief in his voice "You're under arrest for the rape of Lindsay Monroe."

xCSI:NYx

**A/N: Dun dun dun! Did you see it coming? Please R&R. Thanks :o)**


	4. I Didn't Do It!

**A/N: Thanks guys for all your wonderful reviews, and I'm really sorry about the delay. Hope you enjoy this chapter :o)**

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**_4. I didn't do it!_**

The interrogation room was closing in on Danny. He felt short of breath, and was finding it difficult to concentrate on Flack, his coworker and best friend who was sitting in front of him. Danny could tell that Flack was trying to be as gentle as possible with the questions. When arresting the CSI, he could easily see the confusion in his eyes. This didn't seem like Danny. Hell this didn't even seem like something his brother would do, and Louie Messer was involved in a lot of bad business.

Danny tapped his fingers on the hard black table, taking a deep breath trying to calm down. But he couldn't remain calm. He had just been identified as Kyle Monroe's Father. His Father! The young New Yorker moved around a little, trying to get as comfy as possible.

"Danny." began Flack, clearing his throat a little "You have to tell me what's going on...I can't help you until you do."

"Flack I'm telling you" said Danny in a panic "I have no clue as to how I'm Kyle's Dad. I never even met Lindsay until she moved here! How the hell can I be the dad to her kid!?"

Danny sat back in the chair. He had always dreamed of being a father one day, and part of him was desperate to be Kyle's, but not like this. He was going to end up in jail, for something he didn't do.

"What were you doing the night of Lindsay's birthday 12 years ago?" asked Flack

"C'mon!" bellowed Danny "You cannot expect me to remember that!...I was probably drunk, out with Sonny and the boy's, causing some sort of trouble, but nothing like this! I think I would remember rapping someone!"

Danny had tears in his eyes. He couldn't have done this...could he?

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Lindsay sat in the break room in the lab, silent tears falling as she told Stella how she was feeling.

"You know what Stella" Began the honey haired beauty "I knew I recognized Danny...not his face, but his presence, his touch. It was all so familiar...and now I know why! Tonight I'm going to have to go home and tell my son why He can't see Danny anymore...Can't see...his father."

It sickened her to say it. Danny was someone she could see herself spending the rest of her life with, but not now. He would end up in jail, and she would end up alone again.

"Lindsay...you do know these tests aren't accurate. Danny looked to have no idea about this and...to tell you the truth, I don't believe he could have done this."

Lindsay looked at her friend, her eyes filling with anger. She couldn't believe Stella.

"Unbelievable!" snapped Lindsay "I can't understand you Stella, when someone is found guilty of rape you want nothing more than to see the be punished, but now that it's one of your friends who has been found guilty, you don't want to believe it! I thought I was your friend too!"

With that, Lindsay got up and stormed out of the room. She left Stella with anger and guilt. Lindsay was her friend, but so was Danny.

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When Lindsay arrived home, she threw her jacket down and ran into her room. Dry tears stained her face, but fresh tears stung her eyes. She opened her closet and grabbed a box of things that Danny had given her. Cards, letters, presents. She tore up every letter, every card and destroyed every gift. Soon she found a dead red rose in the bottom. The single red rose that Danny gave her on their first date. The petals were like paper, and were very fragile. Closing her eyes, she crushed the head of the flower in her hand, the brownish red petals falling onto her bed like tiny pieces of confetti.

Everything in Lindsay's house that reminded her of Danny was wiped out. At the end of the day, Danny was gone from the home completely and Lindsay still felt awful. After crying some more, Lindsay fell asleep she woke a few hours later to the soft sound of Kyle calling her.

"Mom?" he said, walking into her room and sitting beside her "Mom?"

Lindsay woke and looked at her son.

"Hey baby, what's wrong?" she asked, trying to hide her pain

"Auntie Stella's on the phone, she said that she needs you to come down to the lab...It's important."

Lindsay sat up and streached. She looked over at Kyle, who looked rather worried.

"Mom?" he asked

"Yeah sweetie" said Lindsay, putting on her shoes

"Where are all your pictures of Danny?" he asked, looking around at her bare walls "Has something happened?"

Lindsay held back her tears as much as possible. She didn't want Kyle to find out right away, so sh told him half the story.

"Danny and I...well...we aren't together anymore sweetie." she said softly

"Why!?" asked Kyle, very upset

"Because he...he just isn't the person that I thought he was."

Kyle began to cry. He loved Danny like a father, and didn't want to lose him. He blamed his mother. It was her fault!

"I hate you!" He cried "You're the one that has the problem! You took the only guy who I'd be happy to call a father away from me! I hate you! I HATE YOU!"

Kyle got off the bed and ran into his room, locking the door. Lindsay just broke down, thinking how funny it was that life could change so quickly.

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**A/N: So what did you think? Please R&R. Thanks :o)**


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